Today is August 31, which means tomorrow for all intents and purposes begins the season of Fall. If you have been on the internet at all the last few weeks you have seen these types of things on Facebook or Pinterest.
Bloggers everywhere have been lamenting of the hot temperatures of summer and wishing for days of wearing boots and plaid shirts.
These quotes and posts make my stomach churn because my dirty secret is that I do not look forward to the Fall season, at all. It seems to be an unpopular sentiment, so I might be offending many of you by expressing this. I am not really sorry though, and I need to get it off my chest.
In a week or two, Instagram will be full of pictures of the first sighting of the Starbucks pumpkin spice latte. My Trader Joe’s will look like the Pumpkin Growers Association of America (I have no idea if they actually exist) bribed the Trader Joe’s product developers to add pumpkin to every product sold in the store. Target will clear out the school supply aisles and fill it with Halloween decorations, candy and costumes. Our evening walks with Gatsby will soon get darker and he will have to wear his collar light both for safety and because he is afraid of the dark, and then the walks will cease as it becomes too cold, slippery and dangerous to walk after work. And my creative space, my screened in porch, will be cleaned up and packed away and I will be forced to retreat indoors to try and find inspiration.
Every September I deal with these feelings about Fall. My husband tries to convince me that the weather is still pretty nice in September and even into early October. Intellectually I know this but I still dread the approach of Fall.
I know what comes after Fall which is months of cold and dark and ice and snow. Would I feel differently about Fall if I lived in a place where winter was milder and shorter and the summer hotter? Possibly, but I still don’t think I would appreciate the colors of orange and mustard yellow.
I love summer. I love the lushness and brightness of the trees covered in green foliage. I love the flowers blooming in my yard and opening my windows to the freshness of the summer breeze. I love wearing only one layer of clothing and getting to show off my pretty painted pink toenails in open toed shoes. I love stepping out on a summer’s night feeling the heat and humidity envelop my skin, the sound of cicadas creating a deafening song, and the fireflies lighting up the night sky. There is a certain spontaneous freedom in the summer. It gives you the feeling to play hooky and go to the beach, to take a walk after dinner, or to grab a cocktail early on a Friday afternoon.
I have noticed the last few weeks that when I awaken at the unholy hour of 5 am, that the morning is dark and the sun slower to rise. The leaves on my maple tree have become a bit scorched from the heat and have started to drop on the ground a few at a time. I saw the kids walking to the school bus in the morning this past week, a sure sign that summer is coming to an end.
I just want to hold onto it for a bit longer. To not let it go. I know that there are things about Fall that I will appreciate. We here at May Meets June try to live by the philosophy of enjoying the present moment, but in the Fall I have to work at it a bit harder than I do in the Spring and Summer. I do appreciate putting on a light soft cardigan or hoodie (especially if it has thumbholes) and feeling all cozy against the slight chill. The crunch of leaves underfoot and the crisp air of the morning that quickly warms in the sunlight. My strand of pumpkin lights around the front door lend a glow against the dark of the night and an expanded menu of roasted vegetables, soups and slow cooker meals will be a nice change from the lighter grill fare we have been eating the last few months. That feeling of coming into a warm lit up house, when your cheeks are a bit flushed and rosy from a cool breeze and your nose runs just a bit. The smell of the furnace when it first starts kicking on for the season and slipping into your warm sheepskin slippers, instead of always being barefoot. The warmth and taste of a big bold glass of red wine that replaces the chilled white wines of summer.
While I will find things to appreciate about Fall, I will never love it. I will never be anticipating its return. I am terrible at endings, goodbyes and letting go and for me Fall represents this. The end to my favorite season and a long wait until it returns again. In the meantime, I am doubling up on my Vitamin D intake, reading reviews for a lightbox on Amazon and window shopping for my all-time favorite clothing item of cozy gray cardigan sweaters that have deep pockets where you can stash a treat and your hands. Autumn l I will take you when you come, but it doesn’t mean I am going to fall in love with you. –June
Spring passes and one remembers one’s innocence.
Summer passes and one remembers one’s exuberance.
Autumn passes and one remembers one’s reverence.
Winter passes and one remembers one’s perseverance. – Yoko Ono